Cranberry Apple Salad

Happy Thanksgiving!

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It's a great time to cook and hang out with your family, you don't have weeks leading up to it with stress and who gets what present... it's just a magical time to sit down with your family, eat some great food, and be thankful. Plus, as a bonus, the next day you can start thinking about putting up decorations for Christmas. Win/Win/Win.

This will be my first Thanksgiving at my in-laws house. I am happy we live close enough to them to have this opportunity, and happy we have family to share this day with... but I am a little hesitant. After all, what are holidays but years and years of traditions you expect to be upheld. And what is another family, but years and years of their own traditions. However, I did ask if I could make this dish.  This is food from "my part of the world," and I am bringing it to wherever I am.  In this case... it's the mid-west.

It's a little tart, it's sweet, and it's made of fruit so we serve it during the meal instead of during dessert (even though there are cookies and whipped cream and something resembling a frosting in there). It is Cranberry Apple Salad, and I have been in charge of making this for the holidays for about 10 years. I wouldn't want a holiday without it.  Where it comes from? I'm not sure.  But I know where it's going (and if it has anything to do with the number of people who ask for this recipe, it's everywhere).  And also in my mouth.

One of the many things I like about this salad is that you only have to use one food processor, and you only have to clean it once. It took me a couple of years to figure out the right order, so follow along!

Step one: drain your pineapple (and keep the juice). Let it drain while you're going about doing the rest of this... it needs to drain for a terrifically long time, so start now.

Alright, step two: crush a box of Nilla Wafers in your food processor until they are a "crumb." Put them aside for later.

Next wash the cranberries, and make sure you've got only good-ones there. (I'm not sure it matters in the long-haul, but I am pretty picky about my cranberries.) Now chop them up (I generally do this in two batches, so they don't get too small or juicy) and put them in a mixing bowl. Repeat with slices of apple.

Combine chopped cranberries, chopped apples, well-drained pineapple, marshmallows and sugar together and let it hang out for a bit in the bowl. Maybe an hour. Maybe overnight.

While you're waiting for that to meld (so you can re-drain it... because nobody likes a soupy salad), combine 2/3 of your crushed Nilla Wafers and a couple of tbs of butter. Press it into the bottom of a glass-looking (or actual glass, whatever) cake pan.

Now, back to the processor, put a package of softened cream cheese and a couple of tablespoons of powdered sugar. While the food processor is running, add about 1/4 cup of the reserved pineapple juice (feel free to drink the rest). You're looking for a thin-consistancy frosting-like layer. Now add it on top of the crumb base. This is starting to look good.

If your cranberry mixture is looking soupy, feel free to drain it again (this is where I generally start on day-two. Either way, this stuff needs to wait overnight.). Add it on top of the "white" frosting-like layer and spread out evenly.

Now whip some cream (and add some vanilla and powdered sugar), and add it to the top. Top this ALL off with that 1/3 reserved nilla wafers. And now you have got the most delicious and festive dish on any table. Eat it with dinner. Eat it with dessert. Eat it the next morning for breakfast (it is made of fruit...). Enjoy and Happy Thanksgiving.

Cranberry Apple Salad

Crumb Layer:
box of Nilla Wafers
3 tbs melted butter

White Layer:
package of cream cheese (softened)
2 tbs. powdered sugar
1/4 cup pineapple juice

Cranberry Layer:
1 cup crushed pineapple (well-drained - reserve liquid)
2 cups cranberries
3 medium apples (any kind, but preferably firm and red)
1 cup miniature marshmallows
1 cup sugar


Whipped Cream

• Crush Nilla Wafers and set aside.
• Process cranberries and apples (in batches to limit "soupyness") until medium/fine chopped and combine with (drained) pineapple, marshmallows and sugar. Set mixture aside.
• In the same processor, combine cream cheese, powdered sugar and drizzle in pineapple juice until thin frosting-like consistancy.
• Combine 2/3 of the crushed Nilla Wafers and butter - press into cake pan to form crust.
• Cover crust with white cream cheese layer.
• Add cranberry layer to the cake pan (making sure it is well-drained).
• Refrigerate overnight. (note: you can refrigerate the cranberry layer separately and drain the next day if desired.)
• Add sweetened whipped cream and remaining cookie crumb to salad and serve.

Oatmeal Raisin Neiman Marcus Cookies

Look what I found sitting in my drafts folder, just waiting to be published... COOKIES!

I do not come from "cookie" people. When my mother wants to make a treat, she makes a cake. I have grown-up that way, and can understand why she is so anti-cookies - you have to sit around all day just putting cookies in the oven, taking cookies out of the oven. All day.** That's it. So I don't make cookies very much.

**note: it doesn't actually take all day to switch cookies in and out. But you have got to agree that it feels like it takes all day. Honestly, I just stand by the stove reading a book for an hour...

There are two exceptions to my "no cookie" rule: the cookies that Santa likes (so I must make them or Christmas will not come), and the cookies my husband likes (so I must make them for him and his guys when he goes into the field). These are the cookies my husband likes. And they are exceptional cookies. I wouldn't spend all day putting cookies into the oven and taking them out again if I didn't think they were worth it - and they are worth it. So says me, so says my husband, and so say all the people I give them to (of which there are many, because last time I made these cookies, there were about 85 of them in one batch).

A quick aside: I modified a cookie dough called "Neiman Marcus Cookies" to create this. Apparently this was an Internet scam or something, because that whole story about "I asked Neiman Marcus for their cookie recipe, and they charged my credit card $50,000" is untrue. In fact, until recently, Neiman Marcus didn't even make cookies. There. Rumors dispelled. Moving on.

Making these cookies is a cinch - you don't even need a mixer. Mostly because once I tried using a mixer, and may or may not have burned the motor out. So probably don't use a mixer. (if you have a KitchenAid, and desire, I am sure you could use that. But since I have none, I shall not.)

Step one: take 5 cups of Oatmeal (not instant or fast-cooking) and either pulse a few times in a food processor (like I did with this stylish model almost as old as I am), or crush well with a rolling-pin. If you have a food processor, just pulse it a few times. You're looking for a fine powder.

Step 2: Now cream together the butter and the sugars and the eggs (the wet ingredients. I always find it so interesting that sugar is a wet ingredient...).

Step 3: Dry Team! Add the flour, oatmeal powder, salt, baking powder, baking soda together and stir.  Now add about 3/4 of a 24 oz container of raisins (you could add more, but I promise there are already plenty!) and a toffee-containing chocolate bar of your choosing - pre broken, and add them all together.

I used to use a Symphony bar for this (with almonds and toffee chips), but started looking for a non-almond option when my sister became allergic.

Milka are infinately better.  Not just because of their lack of almonds.  They are just so. much. better.  It's Europe's #1 chocolate bar.  Europe doesn't lie about things like chocolate bars...

Yum.  (and, yes, you can find them where you are.  I found these at a Wal-Mart in nowheresville Kentucky.)

Now roll the dough into balls and place about 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet, and cook them. According to the original recipe, it makes 112 cookies. I've always found it makes between 80-90. Either way, it makes a lot of cookies. And trust me when I say... this is not too many. Bake them all.

This cookie is perfect. Chewey without being cakey. Moist without being... greasy? Make them for your friends. Make them for your family. Make them for yourself.  Rated 10/10 by my husband's platoon, and 10/10 by me.

Oatmeal Raisin Neiman Marcus Cookies
375 degrees, 10 minutes per batch.  Makes 80-100 cookies.

5 cups oatmeal - blended until fine
2 cups butter
2 cups white sugar
2 cups brown sugar
4 eggs
~18oz raisins
1 tsp salt
2 tsp vanilla
2 tsp baking powder
2 tsp baking soda
4 cups all-purpose flour
1 8 oz chocolate bar - smashed

Measure oatmeal and crush until it reaches a fine powder.  Set aside.

Cream butter, sugars and eggs together.

Add flour, sale, baking powder and soda to oatmeal and mix.

Combine butter/sugar mixture with flour mixture.  Add chocolate bar and raisins.

Roll into balls and place 2 inches apart on a greased cookie sheet.

Bake and enjoy my favorite cookie.  It's got that oatmeal raisin goodness with nice hints of chocolate (and a dash of "what is that?" if you use the toffee-included chocolate bar).

 

Award-Winning Strike Force Chili

My husband works. A lot.  Like left for work at 2am on Friday and didn't get home until 4pm kind of work.  Like my husband calls me on his way home to greatly increase the amount we talk in a day kind of work.  So when they announced that the winner of the Fall Festival's Chili Cook-off would win a three day DONSA (that's Day Of No Scheduled Activities for all you non-military friends), I said to my FRG leader "sign me up for the company."  Sure, there can only be two entries for the entire company, and I'd be up against eleven other entries.  Sure, I've never actually made chili.  This did not deter me... I was going to win.

After hours searching the internet, videos of chili cooking watched, at least 50 recipes considered from everywhere from America's Test Kitchen to Food Network to googling "award winning chili" and seeing what I could find, I decided on a one-two hook of combining the best from four separate recipes and hoping for the best.  I decided on a Texas-style no beans chili.  And it turned out awesomely.

Thanks to America's Test Kitchen, The Barefoot Contessa, some random website that told me to cook it the night before and http://crazyhorsesghost.hubpages.com/hub/The-Worlds-Best-No-Beans-Chili (reputable, no?) for the resources.  I totally won.  Extra day off for my husband and all of the Headquarters Company.  I know I need it.  I'm sure my husband does, too.  And all the rest of the people?  You're welcome.

I didn't take pictures of every step of the way, so below you will find the "long version" of the recipe.  Sorry.

Award-Winning Strike Force Chili
Serves: 30 testers or 6-8 regular people

1 lb bacon, cut into small pieces (1 inch?)
5 lbs chuck roast trimmed and cut into small cubes (1 inch?)
1 white onion, diced fine
1/4 cup chili powder
1 heaping tbs minced fresh garlic
1 heaping tbs Ancho Chile Pepper
1 tbs cumin (I used roasted cumin)
1 tbs oregano
1tbs smoked paprika
1 tbs kosher salt
1 tbs pepper
(3) 4 oz cans diced green chilis
2.5 cups apple cider (originally called for Corona Beer, although apparently tastes very similar)
(1) 28oz can diced tomato
(1) 6oz can tomato paste
1 oz unsweetened chocolate, chopped finely
*optional, and added later* 2 tbs Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix (yup, the stuff that's $.79).

• In a dutch oven or other heavy-bottomed pan cook bacon until bacon is slightly crispy (about 8 minutes)
• Set bacon on paper towels and reserve for later
• Drain all but 3 tbs bacon fat, then add half of reserved fat back into pan to heat
• Pat beef cubes with paper towels to dry meat (which is very Julia Childs), and season with additional salt and pepper
• Add 1/2 (ish) of the beef to the same pan (medium heat) and sear meat on every side (about 8 minutes) NOTE: some people might think "this is ridiculous, I'm just going to add it all."  The reason you don't do this is that the beef on the top gets smoked instead of seared.  That makes it gray, and just not have the right texture.
• Repeat (without crowding) until all beef is cooked, and set aside
• Use the SAME PAN without washing or anything, and add onion to pan and cook until soft - making sure to scrape all that "fond" off the bottom, which is seasoning gold
• Add garlic and spices and cook for 30 seconds (until spices are fragrant)
• Stir in the rest of the ingredients and bring mixture to a boil
• Reduce heat to low and simmer, covered, for an hour
• Skim the fat off the top and continue to simmer, uncovered for 45 minutes, until meat is tender
• If, at this point, you think the chili is too thin (I thought so), take a ladle of chili out and place it in a bowl.  Add 2 tbs Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix to bowl of chili and stir.  Microwave bowl for about a minute, and add the thickened chili back to the pot. Stir again.
• Simmer another 10 minutes.  Serve and be happy.

NOTE: I took a break after the initial hour of simmering and refrigerated.  This could be done at any time (it really does blend the flavors well) or, obviously, if you don't have time for this step, you don't have time for this step. :)

Hooray for days off work!

Starbucks Caramel Apple Spice

... I was not going to post today. Today I am supposed to be cleaning my house and putting away my laundry (I don't know about you, but it's the putting away the laundry that always gets me). But since I have had the same "treat" every day for a week, I thought I should share.

It's a Caramel Apple Spice from Starbucks.

Except I've been making them at home. And they are just as good, and don't cost me $2.95 for every. single. one. Thus making me healthy (made from real apples), and frugal (spent less than $10 on enough ingredients to feed my husband's platoon).

Step one: go to Starbucks. See? You're loving this already. Walk up to your nice barista and ask to buy a bottle of Cinnamon Dulce Syrup. I went to the Starbucks on post and even though she had to ask her manager how to ring it up, she sold it to me for $6.95. AN ENTIRE BOTTLE! Less than seven dolars! It's enough to last me for many years - including making this in bulk for parties. (if you want to ask for a pump, feel free. A friend of mine told me she asked when she bought the syrup, and they just gave it to her. A Starbucks pump is 1 tbs according to the interweb, so now you know.)

Step two: assemble drink. Pour about 12 oz of freshly pressed apple cider into a mug. (my second gallon of apple cider for the year is very acid-ey, so I also add about 2 tbs of water. If, however, you love the cider as is, please skip this step). Now add your Cinnamon Dulce Syrup (Starbucks says three pumps for the 12 oz. I add a little less... because you can always add more). Pop it in the microwave until it's the right amount of hot for you (2 minutes is perfect for me).

Now top with whipped cream (optional but yummy) or ice cream if it's a little warmer that day (again, optional, but why would you miss it?). And top that with some caramel sauce.

It is the perfect treat to reward yourself for raking leaves, walking the dog, or getting ready to put the laundry away. I deserve a treat for getting ready, don't I?

Cranberry Monte Cristo Sandwich

It's fall. For anyone who knows me, you will know that this is the goal of the entire year: get to fall. All the best things happen in fall: sweaters, hiking, jackets, fresh bread, Thanksgiving. It's the most wonderful time of the year. Don't get me wrong, Christmas is fun, but Fall is the season of magic.

As one of the many great things to happen this fall, is my invitation to join the HouseHold6 Cooking Club. For those of you less familiar with "the army," if your call-sign is 6, that means you are in charge. And since I am in charge of my Household, that's me. That could be you, too. Start demanding your spouse/children use it on the phone. Maybe it'll make your day.

As part of the cooking club, we have a monthly challenge! This month's challenge was:

Orange, brown and rust are the colors of Fall. Create a dish using these colors. You can only use one of the colors as a non food, ie a rust colored plate to hold the dish. You can incorporate other colors but these 3 colors have to be the dominant colors that you feature.

When I received this email, the first thing I thought was "cranberries are red, and red is a rusty color, and I want to eat cranberries." Follow that up by my love of the crisp browned edges of grilling sandwiches and the orangey color of a good Challah Bread, and we've got a color pallet. And even though I used Italian bread since the TN/KY area is low on Challah bread, it still worked out pretty famously. Here we go!

I love the Monte Cristo Sandwich. It is so many things that I love (french toast, grilled ham and cheese, jam) all put together into one delicious sandwich. And the thing that shocked me was how much I liked this sandwich when I put it together. I was all ready for "eeh, this is what I would change next time" and instead got "must stop eating long enough to take a picture of the sandwich" because it was that good.

Step the first: make a cranberry orange jam. If you're not up for this, just take some of the canned whole cranberry stuff and throw some orange zest in there. However, if you'd like to make a jam to put on this sandwich, toast (like I did this morning), baked chicken and anything else short of chocolate cake, it is easy, and requires almost no effort on your part. First just wash a bag of fresh cranberries (or take a bag out of the freezer), and put them in a pan with the zest and juice of one orange.

Add 3/4 to 1 cup of sugar (my orange was bi-tter, so I used a little more), and a cup of water, and 1/2 tsp of pumpkin pie spice (or 1/4 each cinnamin and nutmeg) and stick it on medium to boil away. After your initial stir, you really don't need to do much. Just let it simmer there for about 10 minutes on medium (until you stop hearing the cranberries pop). Turn the heat down and taste (this is where I added the rest of the sugar, since it was SUPER-tart, and I was looking for slightly-tart). Simmer on medium-low for another 5-10 minutes (with stirring) until sauce thickens a bit. Set aside to cool.

Step the second: prep the sandwiches. I like laying all of my bread on a tray and putting them together at the same time. On one side of the bread, I spread the cooled (or in my case "mostly cooled) cranberry jam of awesome.

On the other, make a mixture of mayo and mustard (I like to use spicy mustard, but Dijon would work well too)

Then layer cheese, turkey and ham... and another slice of cheese because it's tasty. Now put the two sides together, squish them together a little bit, and wrap tightly for 30 minutes-ish to let flavors combine, and the food stick together so you don't end up with half of your sandwich falling off.

As you can see... I have a picky eater in my family. He doesn't like "fancy food." So I also made this dish using regular, everyday, sandwich bread. If you are using regular, everyday, sandwich bread cut the crusts off before you wrap them. This is not because my picky eater is 3, but because it helps create a seal along the edges (which is helpful for not getting egg in the middle).

Step the third: french toast. Combine eggs, milk (I ended up using a small amount of heavy cream I had in my fridge) and some pumpkin pie spice (or cinnamon and nutmeg)...

look how pretty that nutmeg is when you use it fresh...

Anyway, just whisk those together just like you're making french toast in home ec. Take your sandwiches out of their little wraps-of-flavor and dip them in the egg mixture on both sides, and place them on a pre-heated and buttered grill or pan. Keep the temperature low (a little less than medium?) and cover so that the heat permiates the cheese and melts everything - just like making a grilled cheese sandwich. After 2-3 minutes, flip to the other side and do it again.

Step the fourth: eating. Cut sandwich on the bias, and sprinkle with powdered sugar (if you remember before you eat half of it, unlike i did.)

Voila! It's fall colors, it tastes like fall and Christmas thanks to the cranberries, and you have a new guilty pleasure. Because, really, it looks like a million bucks but is surprisingly easy to put together. Enjoy!

Cranberry Monte Cristo Sandwich

3 eggs

1/4 c milk or cream

1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

Powdered Sugar (optional)

For each sandwich:

2 slices challah (ideal) or Italian bread (or sandwich for picky eaters)

2 slices gouda (or swiss for picky eaters)

2 thin slices turkey

2 thin slices ham

Mayo/spicy mustard to taste

Cranberry orange jam to taste (recipe below)

Lay out bread, smearing mustard/mayo on one side, and cranberry orange jam on the other. Layer cheese, meat and cheese (so the cheese can "glue" the sandwich together on both sides). Put top on sandwiches, and smoosh them down lightly. (Cut off crusts if using sandwich bread to create a seal.) Wrap tightly and store for at least 30 minutes in refrigerator.

Combine eggs, milk and pumpkin pie spice in 8x8 baking dish or pie pan and wisk together. Dip both sides of rested sandwich in egg mixture and place on a medium-hot (buttered) grill. Tent or cover to ensure cheese melts, and cook 2-3 minutes on each side. Serve topped with powdered sugar (optional).

Cranberry Orange Jam

1 bag of freshly washed cranberries (frozen work well, too)

Zest and Juice of one orange

3/4 to 1 cup sugar

1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice

1 cup water

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and let sit, on medium, for about 10 minutes (or until the cranberries finish "popping"). Turn the heat down and stir regularly for another 5-10 minutes as the sauce thickens. Let cool.

BoB Soup

As an Army Wife you meet lots of people. Many of whom are lovely, and some of whom make you wish they would leave you alone forever. While we were living in Georgia, we lived next to a very nice Korean woman named MinJong.  She was lovely and was interested in learning more about American-cooking, so we made a cooking deal.  I am very sad to say that although I faithfully taught her to make a chocolate cake, we didn't make an appointment for her to teach me egg rolls. Which is sad because they were so yummy.  (this is because, as an Army Wife, you get used to everyone moving all the time, and she moved before we could get together...)

One afternoon, MinJong and I were chatting and it came up that my father was a Canadian citizen. She replied: "Ooh, that explains why you look so foreign... I mean beautiful." Right.  Obviously both true, but obviously hilarious as well.

The funny thing is that Canada is, for the most part, the same. But with better candy. And more colorful dollar bills. And an entirely different heathcare approach (neither here nor there). However, since my father is Canadian, and many of the first years of my parent's marriage was spent there, my mother has picked up many "Canadian" things to cook. Most of these are heavenly (just wait for the Christmas posts!).  So, in a word, think of this easy, healthy go-to soup as foreign... I mean flavorful.  Right.  Obviously both true.

This is one of my favorite weeknight (or even weeknight with guests) meals, and I have been craving it for weeks now. Because it's fall. And fall = soups. This recipe comes from a line of cookbooks called The Best of Bridge. And although it was originally called "Hamburger Soup," we now refer to it as "BoB Soup" (from Best of Bridge) because I no longer use ground beef in the making of it. :)

BoB soup is... warm - yes! tasty - yes! impressive - i happen to think 94% of all homemade soups are impressive, so yes! But the best part is, it's made of everyday ingredients. And somehow, you mix them all together and they equal just a warm bowl of goodness you will crave when the wind starts to turn a bit cold.

So, you compile the ingredients.

You may notice that I have forgotten diced tomatoes in this picture.  This is because, while I was at the store purchasing said "everyday items" I was on the phone with my mother.  Who told me that I was wrong and did not need diced tomatoes.  As it turns out, she was wrong.  As it further turns out, you can used your RoTel Diced Tomatoes with Cilantro in this recipe in a pinch.

You may also notice that instead of using a "medium sized onion" there is only 1/4 of an onion in this picture.  That is because the onion in question looked like this:

And THAT, friends, is an onion as large as my head.  Tell you what, I had a fun time at the farmer's market this weekend...

So just brown up your meat (I prefer turkey-burger) and onion (onion diced small).  And put a little salt or season salt in (because you should flavor every layer).  I used my fabulous cast iron pot to cook these in today, but my mother always just browned these two in a pan, and then transfered to a large stock pot.  So do what makes you happy.

And while the meat is browning and the onions are getting nice and tasty, chop up your carrots (I prefer "triangle" shape for this) and celery, so you have small bits of veggies. 

When your meat is sufficiently browned, drain the fat.  Now plop it back in a pot, and add everything else.  Your celery, carrots, diced tomatoes (no matter what your mother tells you), thyme, salt, bay leaf, water, pepper, barley, tomato soup (yup, just the concentrated stuff in the can) and beef broth. 

Obviously you could substitute another broth if you felt so inclined.  The original, Canadian, recipe calls for beef consume, which is not readily available where I live.  If you can find beef consume (it'll be near the canned soups, or perhaps the "broth" section), please use it.  I live in Kentucky, so I'm happy to find broth.  Either one entire box, or three 10.5 oz cans worth.

Also, if you are not a fan of barley, or just don't want to use it, feel free to use brown rice instead.  Or white rice if you feel so inclined.  I bought barley for this very occasion.  Not sure what else I'm going to do with it, but I love the texture in all kinds of soups, so I assume I'll do that.

Now bring the soup to a boil on medium heat, and place the lid kindof skewompas on top.  Now take it down to a slow simmer and boil away for at least an hour, preferably two.  But if it's longer, there are no worries.

slightly skewompas lid... in case it wasn't "english"

This soup is great re-heated, or even frozen for later.  But it is pretty darn great for right now.  mmm...  (Don't forget to take the bay leaf out...)

BoB (Hamburger) Soup

1 1/2 lb ground turkey (or ground beef)

1 medium onion, chopped

1 28oz can diced tomatoes

2 cups water

3 10.5 oz cans, or one 32oz box of beef broth

1 can tomato soup

4 carrots chopped fine

3 stalks of celery chopped fine

1/4 cup barley or brown rice

1/2 tsp thyme

Salt and Pepper (to taste)

1 bay leaf

Brown meat and onions

Drain well.

Combine all other ingredients in a large pot and simmer for 2 hours.

Take bay leaf out.

Serve.

Penne and Cheese (because it's not macaroni)

I posted twice in one day!  Strange, yes, but since I had to pass along a recipe, and had changes to it, I thought I would go ahead and just write it out all together.  This is based on Kurt Dammlier's "World's Best" Macaroni and Cheese.

Hey, guys!  So, last night I made a wonderful mac and cheese - it really might rival my favorites.  And since only one of the three kinds of cheese is a new-addition to my shopping list, it was very economical as well. 

I didn't take pictures at the time, but do have a pic of the original recipe that I modified, so you can get a quick glimpse of the brilliance that is this show-stopping food.

picture courtesy of Martha Stewart.com

Good, huh?  YUP!  It'll be slightly different-looking than that, but you get the idea.

First: Make the Cheese Sauce.
Cheese sauce is like making gravy (as in biscuits and...), which makes me think I am going to fail at it.  Mostly because I have a track record of really good gravy, but only 1/2 cup of it, or a rational amount of sausage-flavored milk to go with the biscuits.  I'm working on this... we all have hangups in this world.  And I must say, even I could not mess this up.  Just pay attention and believe it's science.

melt 4 tbs butter in a heavy-bottomed pan.  I used a 12" pan and although 11" might work, any smaller than that and it would be cheesemageddon.  All over your kitchen.  when the butter is melted, add 1/3 cup flour and wisk it around to create tasty little morsels - and keep generally wisking while this cooks - for 2 minutes.  Trust me.  The full two minutes.

Then slowly add milk. I happen to drink 1%, so that's what I used... and, trust me, I was plenty happy.  So no need to run out and buy whole milk for this one.  Keep wisking for the most part and let it cook/wisk/thicken for another 10 minutes.  The whole ten.  You'd be amazed what happens between 9:30 and 10:00 - it ceases to become slightly-thick milk and turns into something more.  Now take it off the heat and put in 3 cups grated cheddar cheese (I love Sargento for cheese dishes, and since it's going to be highlighted, pay the extra ten cents and enjoy), as well as 1 cup cheddar jack (although I used "Mexican Blend" which also has two other cheeses, and i was happy happy happy).  Also add 1/2 tsp garlic salt and 1/2 tsp chipotle chili powder OR smoked paprika powder.

Now, assuming you want to go forward with this whole "pasta" thing and not just serve that sauce over veggies, eggs or your finger, let's move to the pasta:
In the mean-time, cook a box of penne pasta for about 2 minutes less than the manufacture's instructions (for me, that meant 9 minutes).  Drain and rinse to stop cooking process.

Put mostly-cooked pasta in a large bowl and add cheese sauce.  Stir to coat.

Add your delicious goo to a greased 9x13 pan that has been sprayed (or buttered if you're feeling decadent).  Now top with a light sprinkle of the chili powder or smoked paprika all over everything, 1/2 cup grated cheddar cheese, and 1/2 cup grated gruyere.  mmmm... the melty goodness of gruyere.  And now, just to add a little bit of crunch to the dish (I find it changes up the texture nicely), mix 3/4 of a cup of bread crumbs (ideally I'd use panko for the great texture, but today I just had italian style from progresso) with about 1 1/2 tbs melted butter, and spread over the top.

Pop in the oven for 20 minutes.  Let stand for 5 minutes, and serve to a grateful world.

Penne and Cheese

Cheese Sauce
4tbs butter
1/3 c flour
3 c milk
3 cups grated cheddar cheese
1 cup grated cheddar jack (or mexican blend) cheese
1/2 tsp garlic salt
1/2 tsp chipotle chili powder or smoked paprika

Melt butter, and add flour.  Wisk together and cook for 2 minutes (wisking occasionally) over medium heat.
Slowly add 3 cups of milk (keep wisking) and cook for 10 minutes.  Sauce should thicken, but not boil.
Take off heat and add the rest of the ingredients.

Penne and Cheese
1 lb penne pasta
1/2 c grated cheddar cheese
1/2 c grated gruyere cheese
1 tsp chipotle chili powder or smoked paprika
3/4 cup bread crumbs (wouldn't panko be nice?)
1 1/2 tsp butter

Cook pasta for 2 minutes less than "al dente."  Drain and rinse.
Combine cooked pasta and cheese sauce in a large bowl.
Transfer to 9x13 sprayed baking dish
Melt butter and add bread crumbs.  Stir to combine.
Top with remainder of ingredients and bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

Wait 5 minutes and serve.